Passionate About the West Valley
and the Moms Who Live Here

Sorry, Im Not Sorry

It’s an inevitable part of parenthood that we have lots to do and not enough time to get it all done. But, we somehow manage to find a way whether that means store bought party treats, non matching socks to school (gasp), a Peter Piper Pizza party (instead of a Pinterest extravaganza) or buying school lunch. 

We get through it, our kids get through it, and no one is overly traumatized. As Moms we’re pulled in many different directions and then stress creeps in and takes over. 

We can’t deny there is that point where you have to escape for just a short break for your sanity. And, yes, finding the balance between providing for our family and taking care of ourselves can be a struggle.  In fact, you probably prioritize everything but yourself.  However, it’s important to find some time to recharge and relax BEFORE you lose it.  
 I get it.  You feel guilty for taking too much personal time.  I often feel like it’s a catch 22. If you take time, you are away from your family. But, if you don’t take time, you can’t enjoy your family time. Is it selfish to have your own goals?  Or will it allow you to give better attention to your family because you are less stressed around your love ones?


What do you do to recharge? 

Do you like to craft, practice photography, write, read, bake,  clean, crochet, learn, exercise, woodwork, run, shop, maybe a spa day?  I imagine a lot of these things seem unnecessary and you would feel extremely self-absorbed by enjoying some hobby time. 
But, isn’t it okay to find the right balance between your happiness and others happiness so that everyone wins? And, if shopping is your thing (raises hand) everyone does win if there’s a sale! Those endorphins are real people.  
I know everyone has different opinions about the role of a woman and some may feel like your job as a wife/mom is to devote your time and energy one hundred percent to your family.  I am totally not looking to debate who is a better woman.   If that works for you, that’s great. Actually that’s applaudable because I am a stress case if I don’t get a kid break or some alone time.  Just keep in mind what works for you to de-stress, is good for YOU

And, as long as we are all being the best moms we can then we shouldn’t pass judgement on others.  It’s okay for us to recharge in our own way.  

I didn’t become a stay-at-home mom until I was 36 so I’ve had plenty of time to have a career with my first degree in business, went back to school for a second degree in education and juggled time away from my family for work and school.  However, that wasn’t viewed the same as how I spend my time away from my family now.  
Now that I’m not working a corporate career job,  I do spend a good chunk of my day training at the gym.  My youngest is 3 1/2 and has gone with me since he was 6 weeks old.  Yes, 5-6 days a week about 2 hours a day.   I have run into some very judgmental people about this. The, “Oh, sure I’d be in shape if I had all day to do nothing but go to the gym,” the “Must be nice to not have to go to work everyday and do whatever you want.” Trust me I’ve done corporate and actually loved it.  I enjoy working hard and the bottom line is for me it’s not just about going to the gym.  I set some goals over the last year.  I became a personal trainer and start a powerlifting at 40. I qualified to compete at Nationals this October, so that’s a priority of mine right now too.  Does that mean my family is not a priority? No. It’s a balance, a juggling act, time for myself to better myself. 

And I’m not sorry for doing something I have come to love.  

I do make the choice to be away from my family for a few hours,  but I also feel like I’m teaching my boys to work hard and that things aren’t supposed to come easy.  I am able to concentrate on multiple priorities and create an identity that isn’t just me as a Mom. 
At 40 years old, I believe in finding joy and doing things that make me happy, things that help me refresh. 

So, just like kids need a break after school to relax, I think moms need a break sometimes too. There are different ways we can recharge, so I don’t think we need to apologize for taking our own time.  Sorry, but I’m not sorry.  

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