My husband and I recently decided that we wanted to enroll (as a family) in a fun class that we could do with our infant. I was so excited that we were going to do this interesting and amazing thing as a family. We were going to do something that would be an enrichment experience for our little guy, and help us learn as parents. I even considered that maybe we would meet some fellow parents, make a friend, or find someone to talk about our new parenting experiences with.
And then, I checked the schedule. “Never mind,” I told my husband. “All of the classes are during the week, while we are at work.”
And I. Was. Mad.
I wish I could say that it was this one time, but it’s not. If you are a full time working mommy of a little, prepare to go it alone because mom groups meet during the week. Fun classes? Also, during the week. Library story time? You guessed it! During the week. Well, during the week we are at work so that we can afford to put a roof over our heads and eat nutritious food. And so we can afford things like…say…classes for our kiddo. Also, I enjoy working. Not only that, but I need to work because it gets me out of bed every morning and gives me a reason to go about my day as a showered, dressed human (this is not a knock on anyone, but rather a comment on my personal mental health needs).
But, being a working mom is lonely and I feel like I’m missing out, and so is my kiddo.
Why? Why should I miss out on participating in these activities with my child? Better yet, why should my little guy have to miss out on these experiences?
My husband suggested that I consider offering something for littles on the weekend. He told me, “You were a teacher. You could do it yourself”. But the truth is, I don’t want to. I want to sign up, show up, participate, socialize, and go home. I just want to be able to have the “mom” experience with my child.
I do get it. The people running these classes or experiences would have to work on the weekend in order to offer me this option. They deserve to spend time with their partners that work all week and with their children who sacrifice while they work with other people’s families. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t still want to be a part of this.
So, here’s the truth. It looks and feels like the “mom club” is only open to stay at home moms. Working moms are excluded from these experiences. So, after a long day of work, off I go to scour Pinterest to look up and create my own enrichment activities as I go it alone. Society may applaud working moms and our ability to maintain our work-life balance, but the reality is, we have a long way to go before working moms get to join the mom club.