Passionate About the West Valley
and the Moms Who Live Here

Girl, Please Stop Apologizing For Your Messy House

I mean, we all do it right!?

But WHY? By apologizing we, are *perhaps unintentionally* continuing to set the ridiculous standard that a home should be immaculate. I sit here and wonder, what is so wrong with traces that kids live in my home?

I remember that before kids my husband and I would do things like sweep the walkway to our house and hose down the garage floor…can you even imagine having THAT MUCH free time to wash down the freaking garage floor?! I sure can’t, and that used to be MY reality.

Even with one kiddo, when I go down memory lane, I remember being able to carve out enough time to use a toothbrush to clean the grout in the high traffic areas of our house. Now I’m thinking…clean grout?!…it would just get dirty in 2.5 seconds. LOL!

I mean, I get it; we all have to be socially acceptable and all, which is typically the reason to say something like, “Ugh! I’m sorry for my messy house. [Insert your validating excuse here].” I always respond, “Girl, please stop apologizing.” or “Oh stop! You should see mine!”

Doesn’t she know I’m in the trenches with her?! Doesn’t she know she doesn’t have to apologize to me?!

Don’t get me wrong. My house probably wouldn’t be on an episode of Hoarders, but I would cringe a bit if people wanted to take a tour right now with some of the, we will say “projects”, I currently have going on. And I can’t even tell you the man/woman hours my hubby and I put into cleaning this cluttered casa of ours. Sometimes I feel like a mouse running on its wheel.  

Never before in my life have I worked so hard for a cluttered house. Yet, I feel the pressure. The pressure to do better – to be better.

It’s as easy as purging they say – less stuff to clean. It’s as easy as sacrificing sleep – get up early or stay up late they say. It’s as easy as getting organized – they say make a system with chores for the kids. All of these “solutions” are not tried and true. They don’t always work. I’m here to tell you that. I’ve attempted and failed at all the “solutions” my fellow mamas have sent my way. And that’s OK. I’m not perfect or trying to be. No Stepford wife here.

The fact of the matter is that every season in life provides challenges. They tell me cleaning isn’t my “priority” and that’s OK with me. Because nobody will ever remember me for being an amazing minimalist. At my funeral, they won’t say , “Her house was always SO clean!” Because in the grand scheme of things, the state of your baseboards doesn’t matter. To me, kids things all strewn about are welcome. They are a sign of my family. And I, therefore, wouldn’t trade the messes for anything in the world. And I wouldn’t want that for you either mama. Because an immaculate house might mean there is a loss or infertility issue or something of the like and no children are in the picture. Or it might mean that mama is secretly suffering to keep up with it all. It might mean this family is sacrificing where maybe they shouldn’t be.

And if a clean house is the area in which you shine – I salute you. If you are that organized mama, then I wholeheartedly say, “You go girl.” I am a true believer in doing what brings you the most joy in life.

But if you are one of the mamas that struggle, I say, “You can sit at our table” and, “Girl, please stop apologizing for your messy house.” I actively don’t apologize for something I consider to be a ridiculous standard, a problem or downfall in the least bit. I challenge you to do the same.


Read ON! Here are some related article from our own sisters about this topic.

What Hospitality Looks Like as a Mom

All the Reasons I Don’t Clean My House

4 Reasons My House Is a Mess

If Our Walls Could Talk…

The Lackadaisical Host

Keeping It Clean: Why is this so hard?

Sticky Hands and Sticky Hearts

What Normal Looks Like

Should I Clean or Not? A Helpful Flowchart


Check out more of Rachel’s posts HERE.

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