Passionate About the West Valley
and the Moms Who Live Here

Should You Expect Grandma To Babysit?

Photo by Ashley Hanawalt Photography

I recently asked my Mom to watch my daughter so that my husband and I could go out on a date…

A few weeks feels pretty far in advance to ask Grandma to babysit, right?

Well, I still got the response, “what day?” As if she actually would have any plans in the evening of a day almost a month and a half away! (She doesn’t have night plans, ever.) Ok, That statement felt a little ungrateful after I read it, but it’s how I feel.

I love my mom. I appreciate everything she does for my family. She deeply loves my little girl and wants to hang out with her all the time. Is it wrong that I want to feel like my mom wants to watch my daughter for me instead of it coming off as a burden every time I ask? She lives 25 minutes from me, but yet anytime I ask her to watch my daughter for any period of time it always feels like such an inconvenience. I get, “well I have things to do that day.” Or “how long are you going to be?” But it makes me almost not want to ask at all…

There are people whose parents are not interested in seeing their grandchild at all. Just the thought of that makes me incredibly sad, and that is most certainly not my case. I have never had anyone but family watch her. It’s usually not for fun stuff though, more like dentist appointments and meetings.  

I have been on the search for someone I can trust, which is hard when you don’t trust most people.

The mistrust comes with life experiences and witnessing events that tell you, “people are not to be trusted.” Finding someone to do part-time nanny work and occasional date nights is rough. The good ones want to be employed full-time if they are coming to you. And the bad ones… lets not even get into that. I know I will find someone eventually. For now the search continues. In the meantime, I continue to be on a virtual no-date basis with my husband. Our only alone time is occasionally on the weekends after my night owl baby goes to sleep. We are both so exhausted by that time, it is just watching some TV together for a bit then off to bed.

It is so hard to keep dating your husband with babies and not a lot of family around.

I really wish that someone in my family would offer or insist to watch her one night so that we could go on a date. If you have a family member whom you trust that is nice enough to insist they watch your child while you go have a fun date night, consider yourself lucky! For now, I am looking forward to my date night with my husband as it will be one of the few I get this year without my babe.

How do you other mamas feel? Do you ever expect your parents to babysit?


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