I will start of by saying I am in no way an expert on love. I am not a doctor, and I have no fancy degree. I do however have a healthy relationship with my husband of over 23 years, so I guess that’s something!
The first thing I would like to share is, Marriage is in no way easy! There is a lot of give, there is a lot of take, and there is a lot of forgiveness involved. The most important thing to remember is, your spouse has to be your best friend. You have to enjoy their company, and share some of the same interests. This isn’t going to be like a best friend in grade school who starts to drive you crazy so you just get a new best friend. With marriage the best friend you pick will be with you forever, so pick wisely! You are going to have to learn to love this person over and over again, many times. When you are mad and feel like quitting, you are going to have to find love way down deep and pull it out like a splinter!
Here are my top ten tips to keeping love on the surface and staying happily married to your best friend:
- Keep your frustrations between you and your spouse! No one in the world could fix your marriage but you. Airing your problems on social media or even into a friends ear can be dire! My reason behind this is, You and your spouse will make up, but the listening ears will still be angry. Let people think you have the storybook marriage. just as an author who writes a great novel starts with a lot of crumpled paper by their waste basket, no one needs to see your crumpled papers lying on the floor…those are your little secret. Just let others see the final draft!
- Laugh together! Laughter is part of the human survival kit. Don’t be afraid to be silly with your spouse. Have some inside jokes between just the two of you.
- Date! Never stop dating your spouse. hold hands, kiss in public, find those butterflies that hide in the pit of your stomach…find those!
- Tell your spouse often how much you appreciate them. Everyone likes to know they are appreciated in one way or another, let them know! “honey, thank you for being the best, and taking such good care of our family”
- Put your phone down! This is a big one in this day and age. Nothing on your electronic device should be more important than time spent with your spouse. There is nothing more lonely than being in a room full of people and feeling alone. Make time for your spouse and only them.
- Kiss each other and say, “I love you”, when parting and being reunited! Every morning my husband leaves for work he kisses me goodbye, and when he gets home this is the first thing we do!
- Support your spouses hobbies. The definition of Hobby is: an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation. Everyone deserves pleasure and relaxation, especially your best friend!
- Make love often! Making love is not only great for a healthy relationship, but it also has amazing health benefits! Making love is a great exercise to burn calories, boost immunity, helps you sleep better, and keeps you young!
- Communicate throughout the day. Whether it be a simple text saying, “I love you”, a sticky note on their laptop, even a note inside their lunch, this simple gesture can really brighten your spouses day!
- Never ever ever go to sleep mad! If something is on your mind, communicate, communicate, communicate! Your mind can be your own worst enemy, when upset you can overthink, and very easily make a mountain out of a mole hill. Always go to sleep with a clean heart!
As I said I am not an expert and continue to learn how to love my spouse daily! Marriage is a constant work in progress, and my hopes are that one day, My husband and I’s marriage will be remembered as our best piece of work