Someone Is Having An Affair With MY Husband!!!
That someone is me. Let me explain…
In the beginning of our relationship, back when we were young, wild and free, it was all passion and excitement! We barely slept, we worked to party and we only wanted to have fun. (Ya know, like that Cindy Lauper song, but not just the girls) it was a constant thrill and our sex life was wild to match.
It was spontaneous, it was frequent, and it was loud.
I had never been comfortable enough with a man before to be able to lower all of my inhibitions enough to really, really enjoy sex. My lack of self consciousness made me relaxed enough to really enjoy the moment! And it was wonderful. It continued all throughout our relationship, our marriage, even my pregnancy… Then we had our daughter and the world shifted.
I tore during my delivery which made recovery slower and made me extra sensitive where my stitches had once been. Even after I got the okay from my OB, I was hesitant to have sex (it was the longest we’d ever gone without) eventually we did the dead and all was and is well, but then the realization of our new roommate really hit home.
We co-sleep. So our little one has been in our room since day one. This makes sleep a whole lot better as a new breastfeeding mom, but sex a whole lot harder as a woman and a wife.
As new moms we often forget that we are still women. Sexy women who deserve to spend time alone with our husbands naked and without a child attached to us.
This has forced us to get creative with our sex life, which isn’t a bad thing. But it makes it feel like I am having an affair with my own husband.
There are no candles, no “let’s get it on” playing from the speakers, no time. Once he even snuck home during lunch because I had just put our daughter down for a nap. It definitely felt spontaneous like the old days, but in such a different way. Even though it can be challenging, we have begun to make more and more time for each other. And when I say that I actually mean a lot of stolen kisses and quickies during nap time everywhere except our bedroom.
So even though our sex life is immensely different than it was before kids, I’d still call it a good one. The dilemma is the excitement. One day we will be done having babies and our children will all have moved to there own rooms, and when that day comes and we have our own bed again, then what happens?
Another shift, I assume. Should I worry about the day that our stolen kisses stop? When our sex life is then confined to our bed? Will it be boring in comparison to how spontaneous it is now? I can only cross my fingers that it isn’t and trust that our love and attraction for each other only grows as life changes; as it has in this last shift.
So here’s to hoping I never stop having an affair with my husband.