Sex. Yoga. Laundry.
If I had a nickel for every time I heard a mama say,
“I could go a year without sex and be just fine”
…well, I’d probably be able to live for that year without having to work. I am constantly surrounded by women in both of my professions, I hear a plethora of reasons as to why they could endure a sex-less year with no issue, most of which involve sleep deprivation, screaming kids and a much-preferred relationship with a glass of red wine.
When I was in college, Sex and the City was all the rage and it was truly revolutionary, because it changed women’s minds about sex. About what it meant… about the stigmas in place for those who had too much or too little…about how women viewed themselves as sexual beings. It was truly amazing to see a whole generation of women open their minds to a new way of thinking, a positive perspective that not only exonerated women’s bodies but gave them the control for what they do with them.
Everything changes, as everyone said it would. Slowly but surely, sex becomes just another task on the ol’ to-do list (literally). All of a sudden, there is a quota to be filled and an impossible standard to keep…or else, _______ (enter whatever you think the repercussions of a poor sex life would be).
Not very many moms want to admit that they have a boring or unfulfilling sex life. We can do it all and be the best at it all, right? So the pressure is two-fold, coming from the internal to-do list as well as from the idea of what a perfect partner/mother should look like.
Let’s be real for a second…
First, get it out of your head that there actually IS such a thing as a perfect mother, perfect partner, perfect woman. Did you ditch that ridiculous notion? GOOD.
Second, REMOVE SEX FROM YOUR TO-DO LIST. There is no quota to fill, no magic number of times per week, no faking (yes, I’m talking to you. You know you do it. Every woman does.)
Take all of the expectations out of the picture. In fact, ditch the picture as well…that picture in your head of what it’s all supposed to look like.
Instead, look within.
Ask yourself what you want…embrace your womanhood, your strength, your beauty….be empowered again…and see where this new frame of mind takes you. I’ll bet you’ll be pleasantly surprised.