I once considered myself a thoughtful “think before you speak” kind of gal. I filtered much of what was running through my head before it exited my mouth. Then I had a child. And some (most) days, the words and phrases that come out of my mouth have me scratching my head in wonder.
At the suggestion of my husband, I began writing down some of the zingers I say to my 16 month old daughter. Here are a few of my favorites;
“My mole is not removable.“ I’m not trying to gross anyone out, but my daughter frequently stares at this mole on my chest in absolute wonder as she tries to “pick” it off. Yep, it’s not going anywhere kiddo.
“How many tomatoes do you have in your mouth right now?” If there were an award for the number of grape tomatoes you can stuff into your mouth at once, my kid would win.
But there’s not, and I don’t want her to choke.
“You have to wear pants to go out in public.” This is a daily struggle. For both her and myself!
“You can’t stand in the crockpot.” I recently caught my daughter standing in a crockpot on the bottom of our pantry in an effort to reach something on a higher shelf. It gave her maybe two more inches. And it wasn’t safe. And I had to re-wash the crockpot. This is a no win situation.
“I’m not picking that up.” I say this often after my child throws something onto the floor. Usually this occurs while we’re at the grocery store and whatever she threw was the one item keeping her quiet and allowing me to continue shopping in semi-peace. So I pick it up and mutter “I’m not picking that up” as I do just that. Who am I and what’s happening to my brain?
What crazy things do you catch yourself saying to your kids?