There are some days, or most days – oh who am I kidding, there is literally pressure on us mamas every single day to “do it all”.
Raise the babies, be a model house wife, contribute monetarily, still connect with the passions we had before motherhood, keep the house in order and top it off with making time for church, social engagements for ourselves, social engagements for the babies and the basics like showering, shaving (in the summer months, who’s with me?) and getting food into our bodies.
I was having a conversation with a friend recently, a friend who will remain nameless but who is currently single and childless, when they said to me (and felt the need to also share a meme on my Facebook wall):
“You have as many hours in a day as Beyonce. And she does it all.”
After a chuckle I got to thinking about this statement, and how we put each other, and often times ourselves, into these boxes that create so much pressure it’s no wonder were a stressed out bunch of hot messes (except on those rare Wonder Woman days where you ask yourself as you collapse into bed just how you pulled off ALL the things.)
And I have a reply for such a comment.
If I had her chef at my disposal, I too would have flawless meals on the table 3-4 times a day and wouldn’t resort to dinners of granola cereal or vegan mac n’ cheese three nights a week to take a break from cooking.
If I had her personal trainer show up at my door at 7 am, I probably would have lost more of the baby weight by now. But I would also need her nanny to wake and feed my baby, because there’s that.
Speaking of the nanny, if I had a staff raising my child (and I’m not implying Beyoncé doesn’t take care of her own kids, but many celebrities have full time staff) I wouldn’t need to finish this article because I’d have time to tend to all the things mentioned in paragraph one.
Same goes for a house staff and maids. They can have my keys and come clean my house right now.
If I had her personal accountant I wouldn’t have to spend part of my week paying bills, budgeting our needs and working on our taxes. That would leave time I could allot to shaving, even in the winter months, or maybe getting my nails done while also talking to another adult who knows how to form words using the letters of the ABC’s. A song that is on constant repeat up in here because #IWantASmartKid.
If I had a chauffeur I could make them load the car seat and stroller into the car multiple times a day and surely that would free up, like, a full year of my life overall. So, that could be time used to take those tropical vacations Bey seems to enjoy.
So, my reply to this absurdity is – yes, we may have the “same amount of hours in a day”, but our responsibilities and priorities are very, very different.
So mamas – rejoice and celebrate the days that every item in your Purposeful Planner is crossed off and the kids are bathed and have all napped and eaten well.
But remember, on the days when you rock the bun from sun up until sun down, when the car floor is covered in smashed Cheerio dust and the teething babes just.. won’t… stop… crying, that this is your crazy, beautiful, chaotic world and those little humans adore you more than life itself. Remember that the dishes will get done, date nights will resume, your blog (or work or hobby) will thrive because the passion you have for it lives, it just may not look like we expected it too, or happen as we may have originally envisioned it all going before we had these sweet littles who consume our days, our minutes and our hearts.
Beyoncé may be the Queen of R&B. But we are the Queens of our households.
And I don’t know about you, but it’s a role I not only prefer, but cherish.