After having my baby, one of the postpartum nurses said goodbye and cheerily added, “I’ll see you when you have your next baby!”
I chuckled and replied, “probably not”.
You see, I never dreamed or imagined myself as a mom. As a teenager, college kid, and young adult, I proclaimed that marriage and children were not for me. And then I got a job teaching elementary school children, which confirmed my long held belief that children were definitely not for me.
I was never baby crazy either, and avoided holding babies of my friends and family members. When I couldn’t get out of it, I awkwardly fumbled the baby, and then they proceeded to scream.
I figured they sensed my fear and this was a sign that I should never procreate…
I met a guy named Shane, who I happily married. Okay, I thought, I was wrong about never getting married but I’m still very cool with no kids. I don’t know if it was my biological clock, some change in brain chemistry, or mind control, but I soon pictured myself having a child with my husband. You get the idea of what happened next.
My daughter was born and our lives were forever altered.
We were absolutely blessed. She brings me so much joy and I have no doubt that her existence has changed me for the better. But when people ask me when #2 will be arriving, my face contorts into a look of horror while I shake my head and mutter the word “no” repeatedly. Because this parenting thing is hard! Why would I want to make it harder?
I want to appreciate, enjoy, and get to know my daughter. Adding another child to the mix will interfere with that. As well as my sleep and sanity. Therefore, I’m nurturing and raising “just” one child. That’s enough for me. Yet I feel like there’s some sort of stigma attached to having one child. People start to speculate why you didn’t make more and I’ve even heard the word “selfish” thrown around. Really? Maybe it’s as simple as being happy with one child.
In the future, my husband and I may discuss adding to our tribe. But I already feel so blessed, and overwhelmed, by what my daughter brings to our lives. So for now (and probably forever), I’m very much okay with being one and done.